When Blood Is Thicker

"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about." Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, "Ike's Wee Wee", 1998.

Today I won third place in an art show I've been trying to win something in for the past four years and my uncle almost died.

It's always the good with the bad isn't it?

He has what is called a "saddle embolism" and it is basically a huge blood clot that extends into both lungs. It's not something you want to have. This all started on Saturday when he began having chest pains and trouble breathing but he didn't see a doctor until yesterday. It is a wonder that he's still alive.

The doctor who performed the clot-busting procedure this afternoon said it was the largest embolism he's ever seen. My family, we excel.

I got a strange phone call yesterday and thought for some unknown reason that it was the retirement home calling to tell me that my grandmother, my Dad's mom, had passed away. I called my mom at work to check with her, but she hadn't heard anything and thought I was nuts. There was a moment when, standing in front of my sink in the kitchen, I said aloud, to the universe, "No one in my family is dying this weekend. Do you hear me?"

Apparently I sensed a disturbance in the force but just couldn't pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. Moments after I called my mom, my uncle called her to tell her he was admitted to the hospital.

So, needless to say, my schedule is trashed, I'm worried about him. Everything hurts. Sleep? Ha! And I am nowhere near done all the things I have need to do to prepare for this art show. I should be staying up to do another painting. Instead, bed might be the better option. At least if I attempt sleep, I can kid myself that I'll get up early and finish the painting.

The one that won, incidentally, took me three hours.

In other news, I just got the grades from my last two summer classes. A's. The good with the bad.

Given my uncle's precarious health, it looks like I'll be driving to Ocean City in my own car in case I need to drive back to Philly for any reason. I say that like it's nothing. "For any reason." What I really mean is - in case it becomes clear that he is going to die. We all knew what I meant anyway. Still, it means that I won't be able to sleep on the drive down and parking will become an issue since I only get one parking pass.

I also still don't know where I am staying. I'd promised myself that I'd go to the beach for a week if I got straight A's. Now I don't know if it's a good idea. I still have bills to pay before leaving for this adventure. That is one of the things that has increased exponentially in difficulty since my injury. It now takes me HOURS. It's painful and I do it inaccurately. I dread bill-paying. Of all the activities of daily living it is the one thing I wish someone else would do for me. Who takes care of things like that for people who are incapable of doing it themselves? Who will do it for me as I age and become completely incapable?

See, it's all about me isn't it. I'm selfish and sad.