Pain(ting)

"But pain...seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life. Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on regardless. Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life in addition to the pain?" Lois McMaster Bujold, "Barrayar", 1991.

Is it only a coincidence that when looking for an appropriate quotation about pain I kept getting quotations about "painting"? Considering the painting is the source of my current discomfort, I find it all too fitting. Yes, I believe I have over-done it. Again.

It was going so well. The new meds were working. It's the lack of sleep that did me in. Last night was...bad. Bad doesn't even cover it. Went to bed late to begin with and just - could - not -sleep. It was after three before I even started drifting. Once it hits two, I start getting anxious, knowing that I've already lost precious sleep times. It's all downhill from there.

So today I woke up hurting and still need to do more paintings and prep work for this upcoming event. All I really want to do is take a hot bath, dose on some meds and go to bed. Curled up and snoozing by 9 pm would be just fine by me.

I did manage to finish two paintings today. One is of "Lucy" the elephant shaped building in Margate, NJ, and the other is of a heron. My goal has now gone from 100 paintings to 50. In reality, I'm happy with what I have already finished and know that what I need most now is to rest up for the weekend.

In addition, there has been some familial drama. My uncle phone my mom earlier today. His conversation opened with, "Well, the good thing is - I didn't have a heart attack." Oy. He's in hospital right now awaiting a cardiac cath tomorrow. At least I think that's what they're doing. Information from the front has been a bit sketchy. His friends are trained to tell the family exactly what he wants them to, irrespective of the truth. My plan is to stop in and see him tomorrow night on the way to the show. I hope everything goes well.

And now I think I will follow my own advice and indulge in that hot bath. Some epsom salts and a cup of tea wouldn't be a bad idea either.